DIVORCE RESOURCES FOR THE DIVORCE PROCESS
At Held Law Firm, we understand the complicated emotions and feelings of loss that are part of the divorce process. Couples express anger, resentment, and fear of the loss of a life they know. We also believe in the redemptive aspects that can be a part of the divorce process as well. In some situations, some healing between the ex-partners occurs, children are happier in the calmer environment, and there is contentment in compromising; all possible outcomes.
Families would be lucky if the “nice” or uncontested divorce was the natural process. Unfortunately, it is not. We stand by and with our clients through bitter court cases. We support and prepare our clients as they look forward to a better life. It is because we care about our clients and potential clients, that we asked Emily Heird, LPC, MHSP to compile a list of divorce resources. These are for use as couples make decisions about divorce. The resources include books and podcasts. As President and Founder of Knoxville Counseling Services and as a Divorce Coach, her list in invaluable for couples who are thinking of divorce. See more about Knoxville Counseling Services here.
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“Books can be a great tool for those going through a divorce. It helps you understand what is happening, helps you put into language what you may be experiencing, and gives you perspective from those who have been through it – or work with divorcing couples and families. Below is a list of a number of books that are focused on the beginning stages of divorce and the process itself. Explore the titles and see what may be beneficial for you.” Emily Heird
Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate What if you emerged from your divorce stronger and more resilient than ever before? Better Apart is the first book to apply the life-changing, healing wisdom of meditation and yoga, combined with practical advice, to help anyone going through the painful and seemingly intractable realities of divorce.
Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After A lot of books about emotionally handling divorce focus on women. Not this book! There are pearls of wisdom here for everybody. It’s particularly good at helping you identify your relationship patterns. Like our previous book, this one stresses the well-being of any children that you and your ex might have together.
Fair Share Divorce for Women Let’s face it: your divorce is going to get financially sticky. This book contains some solid advice from a CPA who knows her way around a settlement. As the title suggests, this book is most relevant to women.
Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder Whether or not your ex has been formally diagnosed, this book has some good advice for breaking up with “high-conflict” people. If you worry about your spouse’s reaction to a divorce request, this might be a good book to review before you broach the subject.
Uncoupling: How to Survive and Thrive After Breakup & Divorce Here’s a book that will normalize the many challenges of divorce for people who are feeling unsure about what’s normal. Davison is a life coach who draws in part upon her own divorce for reference.
Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing that Ever Happened to You This divorce book has become Amazon’s bestselling self-help book on divorce, which is why it might just be the perfect book for you.
Split: A Memoir of Divorce Suzanne Finnamore wrote this book based on the 5 stages of loss. What we really love about this book is that it provides practical advice in an entertaining way. Think of it as an essential guide to divorce. The fact is, hearing somebody else’s divorce story – as horrible as it sounds – can make others feel better. It helps them understand that they are not alone – that good, honest people go through this every day
Sacred Cows: The Truth About Divorce and Marriage There are a lot of myths about divorce out there. The Tellers, a divorced and then married pair themselves, explode a lot of them in this book. A playful tone lightens the heavy subject matter somewhat.
Parenting Through Divorce: Helping your Children Thrive and Survive After the Spilt There are a few reactions that you can probably expect from your kids when you announce your divorce. The object of this book is to prepare you to handle those in a healthy way.
A Parent’s Guide to Divorce: How to Raise Happy, Resilient Kids Through Turbulent Times Addressing the needs of all age groups, this book is particularly good at addressing specifics. For example, it gives good tips about handling holidays.
Talking to Children About Divorce: A Parent’s Guide to Healthy Communication at Each Stage of Divorce Any parent who is in the process of divorcing needs to be ready to field questions and head off misconceptions that their kids might or might not voice. A lot of the communication advice in this book could also apply to other difficult conversations.
Two Homes One Childhood If you’ve got kids, you’re going to have to start thinking about them before you tackle the divorce itself. It’s possible to insulate them from the worst of the process, but it takes planning and cooperation—so start the planning now, with this excellent book. Emery shifts the focus from your needs to the needs of your children, helping you and your soon-to-be-former partner develop a plan that will evolve along with your kids, and ensure they get to have a childhood despite the dissolution of your marriage.
On Your Own Again Living with someone can become a habit, and one of the scariest things about divorce is the idea that you’ll once again be on your own. Once you accept that divorce is your only way forward, there’s no time to lose in thinking about how you’re going to clear the rubble and start again. Anderson offers a concise and well-organized approach to putting the past behind you and finding a way to live by yourself—how to find the self-confidence that you can, in fact, rely on yourself to not only survive, but thrive.
We’re Still Family: What Grown Children Have to Say About Their Parents’ Divorce The specter of ruined childhood haunts many divorcees, but it might not be entirely valid. This collection of short essays by the children of divorce suggests not only that positive outcomes are possible, but that kids can join their parents in moving through divorce resiliently.
Podcasts
- The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq.
- Divorce Conversations for Women – finance & divorce
- The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast with Kate Anthony
- Negotiate Your Best Life Podcast with Rebecca Zung, Esq.
- Conversations About Divorce with Mandy Walker, divorce coach and mediator
- Divorce on Planet Earth with Kate Scharff
A big Thank You goes to Emily, for the time and care with which she collected these titles. We hope that they will be beneficial to you if you find yourself thinking of divorce.
